Communication Is A Key Tool To Deal With Bullying Situations
James Mallory
THE NORTHERN LIGHT STAFF
A Bathurst High School student who co-organized two anti-bullying conferences in the city has a great deal of hope for the future. “I hope that parents have been educated on the issue,” said Robbie Frenette, a Grade 11 student who co-organized a conference last summer and another last Wednesday. “And I hope that students will now come forward. That is what I have been trying to promote.”
At last week’s seminar, Eric Smith, a School District 15 learning specialist out of Dalhousie, spoke about creating a positive learning environment for students. He said while schools obviously have a role to play, so do parents. He said parents need to communicate with the child and with the school’s teachers/administration to help alleviate any problems. “Parents should get involved in schools,” he said. “Communicate with your child’s school, in good times and in bad.” Mr. Smith said it’s important for the parent to concentrate on the child first by getting the facts about any bullying situation and then approaching the school.
The parent should contact the teacher first and then if the parent doesn’t feel the problem has been addressed, they should contact the principal and finally the district office as a last resort. He also noted that it’s important for parents to get the facts from their child before anything else so it can be determined if the child is indeed being bullied. He said bullying is defined as repeat attempts by another individual or group to hurt someone else emotionally or physically. He said an isolated incident isn’t a case of bullying and that’s where daily talks with the child come in handy.
BHS teacher Alan Doucet made a presentation about the anti-bullying committee that was established at the school last year. He said 16 students joined the committee and went around the school last year looking for signatures on an anti-bullying pledge. “We got about 400 signatures out of 700 students last year so we’ll be looking for 700 signatures this year,” said Mr. Doucet. Mr. Smith had noted that a witness is present in about 90 per cent of all bullying incidents, and Mr. Doucet said it’s that crowd that the BHS anti-bulling committee wants to reach. “It’s the bystanders that we really want to tap into,” he noted.
Brian Kenny, Liberal MLA for Bathurst, was approached last year by Robbie for his support in the anti-bullying crusade. Mr. Kenny said he jumped on board because he feels more people need to be educated on the issue. “If students get involved in bullying or being victims, it can affect their academics and affect them (emotionally) for the rest of their lives. So it’s important that everybody get together...to create a positive learning environment for our the future of our students.” Mr. Smith and Mr. Kenny touched upon the issue of cyber bullying, which has become more common place in recent years. Mr. Kenny said cyberbullying is something many parents aren’t familiar with and it must be addressed. “My two daughters are eight and 12...and we have a computer at home and MSN (instant Internet messaging program) is always on and a lot of kids are on there. You hope that everything is fine but there was one issue one time at home where comments were made on the MSN and it really hit home....We all live busy lives but it’s important when you’re at home to keep an eye on that. But you have to give them privacy at the same time so it can be a tough situation.”
Joan Pentland of Bathurst has a grandson in Grade 5 at Terry Fox Elementary School. She attended the conference to get more information on the subject so she is better prepared on how to handle any situations her grandson may run into. “I know it goes on at school so I wanted to get more information about it,” she said. “I wanted to come so I could get some tips and find out what to look for.” Some information provided at the conference included signs parents can look for to see if their child is a bully or is being bullied.
Children who may be a bully show little concern for others’ feelings; do not recognize the impact of his or her behaviours on others; is aggressive with siblings, parents or others; is bossy or manipulative to get their own way; possesses unexplained things or extra money and is secretive about possessions, activities and whereabouts. Signs that a child is being bullied include: not wanting to go to school; anxious, fearful or over-reactive; headaches and stomach aches; low interest and performance at school. It was also noted that parents can contribute to their child becoming a bully by using power and aggression, through yelling, hitting or rejecting the child; parents using aggression with each other; siblings bulling the other child; and few opportunities for the child to show talents at home, school or in the community.
Parents can also contribute to their child becoming a victim: being overprotective or restrictive; allowing few friends and few opportunities to show talents. An anti-bullying conference was held last August with roughly 60 people in attendance.
Last Wednesday attracted just under 25 people.
Co-organizer Robbie Frenette expressed disappointment with the turnout, and noted that it was perhaps too soon after the last conference to hold another. He suggested that maybe such conferences in the future could be organized annually.
Story Reprinted With Permission.
